I have always been a big girl and an even bigger comfort eater. Over the last ten years the weight just seriously kept creeping up and up and suddenly I found myself at 280lbs.
It was a picture of me and my, now ex, boyfriend at the time (cutting the cord in more than just one way lol), which triggered my first small attempts at losing weight. He was a 6ft4 athletic guy and then there was me stood next to him 5ft7, and just looking massive. I stared at the picture as we sat in the car and started crying.
Me at 280lbs.
It was then that I decided to do something about it, so I started going to the gym and had a half hearted stab at eating better. I say half hearted in hindsight, as back then it was a case of eating well for most of the week and then pretty much spoiling my efforts by pulling into McDonald’s at the weekends.
Over the next few months I did lose a bit of weight, maybe 10lbs, but then me and my boyfriend split up and I went through a short phase of not caring.
At the new year I made the usual resolutions, but not changing much, until that one night I went to a gig of one of my favourite bands, Shinedown. I wanted pictures of me there, but the memory of the last picture of me still stung badly.
Then they played the song that pretty much changed it all.
Cut the cord – By Shinedown
And then I knew that it was exactly what I needed to do, cut the cord. Stop making my life and happiness revolve around food and people who don’t appreciate who I am and what I am about, and therefore drag me down.
I started to eat low carb again for about 80% of the time, because hey, I love food and there was no way I would go without certain things. I can easily skip bread, rice and pasta these days, but potatoes, I love potatoes! So maybe once a month I’d have those or I’d have the odd pizza. On those days I just do some extra cardio at the gym to level it out or I simply accepted the tiny bit of weight gain and got on with it. But it wasn’t really down to the diet change that made all the difference, it was the change in my head, that little switch that got flicked that let me know, yes, I can do this and I will do this! Once that thought was in place it was all so much easier.
And here I am, nine months down the line…
I think my mental transformation still needs a lot of work, because I still catch myself now and then wasting energy on people who really don’t deserve it, but I am definitely setting more goals for myself and for most of the time really don’t care what other people think of how I live my life, because it’s my life and it’s a good one!